


I Had a King

by BirdBoneGirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/F, Gen, General, Mary Lives/John Dies, Random scenes, gender swap, mention of prostitution, mention of violence, smatterings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 20:10:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8859370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdBoneGirl/pseuds/BirdBoneGirl
Summary: Mary Winchester remembers to stay out of the nursery, but John never got such a warning. Now she must raise her girls, Deanna and Samantha in a world where everything wants to kill them.





	

Mary sat with the car running staring up at the old house with trepidation. This was exactly what she had been trying to avoid, after all. But they had been right; one couldn't ever really escape this life. 

Baby Samantha cried and fidgeted in the car seat. Mary looked in the rear view mirror. Deanna was making a face, but diligently hopped the toy bunny, a gift from one of her neighbors, across the babies tummy. Sam quieted down, but Mary had to wipe the tears off her face watching how Deanna took care for her baby sister. 

What was she going to do now? She had listened to that strange kid all those years ago, keeping out of the nursery on November 2nd, though she had thought she heard something. She had seen too much to ignore a warning like that. John had not known. She had never told him. One of countless secrets she had kept from him. And now he was dead. This too was her fault. Were all their deaths? Was this punishment for trying to stay out of the life all these years? Had she been a fool?

The answer was obviously yes. She had been a fool. Had put her family at risk? Had she really thought that just because she didn't actively hunt that those monsters still weren't out there? Foolish and reckless. 

Sighing she turned off the car, the engine rumbled to a stop. Stupid machine, why John had ever bought such a beast she would never understand. Then again it was all she had left of him. She would just have to figure out how to keep it running. Would have to figure it all out. For now all she could do was go back to the only resource she had left. 

"Deanna honey, can you get Sammy out of the car seat?"

Deanna nods, mouth set in a thin line. Trying to be brave. Trying not to cry, she saw. It broke Mary's heart, but she didn't try to comfort her. She would have to be a brave little soldier now. They would all have to. She sniffed back a threatening tear and smiled as her eldest moved to unbuckle Sam. 

She opened the door and stepped out into the driveway, the air was chilly, it was November after all, the grass all around the manor was overgrown and brown this late. A fire hazard to be sure. She hadn't been out here since her parents death. No one had, as far as she knew. 

Still it should be stocked up with the things she would need. Books, salt, firearms. Her throwing knives. She rubbed her hand over her mouth, trying to dampen down the memories that threatened to overwhelm her. It was familiar and comforting, but it was also terrifying. She had seen so much, had hoped...

But, no. No, she couldn't just lie to herself anymore. It was real now. John was dead and she could no longer ignore it. Could no longer pretend that these things weren't out to get her. She was a Campbell after all. A hunter. 

Well, she laughed softly to herself, she as actually a Winchester now. Maybe that would be the difference. Maybe that would make a difference. Would be the edge she needed to find the bastard who had killed her husband and ruined her life. The Yellow eyed demon.

The car door slammed shut and Deanna stood there looking up at her, holding Sammy close to her chest with a triumphant little smile. Mary bent down to take her youngest from Deanna's arms, but Deanna turned so she couldn't get her. 

"I've got her mom." 

Mary smiled. "I know you do sweetie." She ran a hand through her daughters hair giving her a little pat. "I know."

#

 

Setting the newspaper on the passenger seat Mary stared out the window. The sky was a pale blue with thin clouds that stretched low across the horizon. The frosty mist burning off the tree line along the hills. Frost coated every roof in the small valley. 

Swallowing back the bile rising in her throat she opened the car door and swung her legs out the door. Pushing aside her rising unease. She glanced into the back seat where Deanna was curled up around Samantha, fast asleep, and closed the door as quietly as she could. Deanna's eyelids fluttered open and she searched around for her. 

"Go back to sleep baby, I'll be right back."

Deanna squinted, then nodded and rested her head back onto Samantha's hip. Mary smiled at that. A momentary relief from the tightness in her chest. 

She turned to the house. It looked abandoned. The gardens full of overgrown plants all covered in the hoarfrost, the paint peeling in places, and most telling of all no steam coming out the chimney vent. Mary already knew what she would find. 

Still she had to check. What else could she do?

The lock was easy to pick, and she was inside in a matter of minutes. The air was stagnant and as cold as the outside as she crept down the dark hall. The floorboards squeaked and rattled at her as she walked. It was evident immediately that no one lived her anymore. All the furniture was covered in sheets and all the shelves were empty.

So when the man appeared in front of her, she almost had a heart attack. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" He bellowed, waving a shotgun over his head. 

Mary took a step back wards to avoid getting hit. "I thought this place was empty!" she snapped, feeling put upon. She had as much right to be here as anyone after all. They had been her family, however distant. 

"Oh so you thought you could squat here?"

"No! I was trying to find out what happened here."

"Death is what happened here! A massacre!"

Mary kept backing away but the stranger followed her step by step down the dark hall. She couldn't make out his features, but he was bigger than her. Her hands went to her belt for her knives, but she needed to know who the hell this man was before she attacked. 

"Yes, fine, but by what?"

The man stopped in his tracks, the gun lowering. "Did you just say by what?"

Mentally cursing her choice of words she remained silent. 

"You a hunter?"

Mary flinched at the word, but licking her lips she said yes. 

"Well why didn't you say so. I read the article in the paper and thought I better see if there wasn't something here. Looks pretty fishy if you ask me."

"Yes," Mary agreed, still on edge, the man stepped forward, his face in the light from an empty side room. Big red beard and a trucker cap on his head, he grinned at her. 

"Bobby Singer," he held out his hand. 

"Mary Ca-" years of hunter training coming to fore, she snapped her mouth shut, "Winchester. Mary Winchester."

"Nice to meet you. Now what do you reckon? I was thinking poltergeist but-"

"This was no poltergeist." Mary said sweeping past the man. He seemed alright, but her father had said to never trust another hunter and she wasn't about to let down her guard.

"I'll admit I'm kind of new to this, so perhaps you could enlighten me?" Bobby called after her, but was already halfway up the dilapidated staircase. There was sulfur on the top steps, and a blood spatter on the floor. Just like the others.

"Miss?" He called from the bottom step. 

She rounded on him. "Demons." 

The man frowned, his face disappearing behind his cap as he ducked his head. "Demons are real?"

She eyed the man up and down. "Yes. You didn't know?"

"What are the signs?"

"Changes in behavior, sulfur, black smoke. Black or red...or yellow eyes."

Bobby swallowed. "I know demons. I just-" he stopped short, as if he had hurt himself. Perhaps he had. Mary stopped and turned to face him, her expression softening. 

"How long ago?" Mary asked him, quietly. 

His eyes skittered away from her, "About a year."

"Your...wife?" She guessed.

He nodded. 

"You've been hunting ever since?"

"Trying to. Keep finding more things out there. This is a demon?"

"Like all the others."

"Which others-"

"It doesn't matter. Do you know where they took all the Campbell's belongings?"

"Why?"

"I just need to see what they took."

"Did you know these folks?"

Mary sighed out in frustration. She was rusty. And bad at keeping secrets. Or maybe she just felt so alone. She had hoped that she would find someone here, hadn't expected to come to an empty house and another dead branch of the family. She was tired of running into dead ends again and again. 

It wasn't as if she had been close with her cousins. Father had always said you couldn't trust anyone and that the Campbell's hunted alone. Occasionally they had teamed up with her cousins, for a vampire nest in Manhattan, Kansas and for the werewolves in Casper, Wyoming. But that had been the extent of her familial connections. 

Still as she walked around the big empty house she felt the loss of her kin. They had been her last hope. They were all dead. Every last Campbell, every last coworker and friend. The yellow eyed demon had left her with nothing. No one. 

So Mary found herself standing in a hall in her cousins house, throat tightening around her tears while a strange man with a red beard came up and put a warm hand on her shoulder. Her careful facade broke. 

"They were my cousins and they were the last-"

The front door closed downstairs. Both her and Bobby stiffened and went into high alert. Springing apart and ready for whatever happened next. He may be new to the game, but this man had the instincts. 

"Mom?" Came Deanna's clear high voice from the foyer. 

Mary relaxed and answered "upstairs D," and rushed to the stairs, a bewildered Bobby Singer on her heels.

"There is a police officer outside!" She puffs out, her eyed wide and out of breath.

"Shit. Put that away," she hissed at the man, indicating his shotgun. "Let me deal with this." She turns back to Deanna. "Go back to Sammy, I don't need her crying." Deanna nods and darts back out the door, skirting the leather clad police officer on her way out. 

"Excuse me, miss. Can I ask what you are doing on the premises?"

"I didn't realize visiting my cousins house was a crime."

The man narrowed his eyes. "I didn't realize the Campbell's had family."

"Third cousins, I happened to be heading through town and wanted to stop by. Hadn't seen them since I was a girl. I didn't realize they had moved. I found the spare key and let myself in."

He didn't look like he believed her, then he got a solemn look on his face. "I'm sorry to tell you this, mam, but I am afraid they didn't move."

"What do you-"

"The family that lived here were all murdered."

Mary gasped into her hands, hoping the act looked genuine. It didn't take much for her to access the pain of it. They hadn't been close but they had been family. Family stuck together.

The officer looked sheepish, turning his head away. "I am surprised no one contacted you."

"My folks died a few years ago, they probably had no way of getting a hold of me."

"Well I don't mean to be a bad person, but you can't stay here. Everything belongs to the state now, and I can't have people here." 

Mary pursed her lips into an almost smile. "Mind if I just have a minute? This is all a bit of a shock."

"Of course, but you'll have to stay in a motel tonight."

"That's fine, really. Thank you."

The officer left, though reluctantly. She knew he would be back later to check to see if they were still here. She didn’t have much time. She would have to check in with the local officials and see if she could perhaps gain access to the seized items. Most of the time the city didn’t really want to deal with estates. She could probably pull together enough proof of familial connection to gain ownership. 

“You like pancakes Mr. Singer?” 

“I wouldn’t say no to such an offer.” 

“Let’s go. We can talk at the diner on 2nd street.”

 

#

 

"No, Deanna. You can't. There is no room for toys. Carry the salt." 

"But Sam-"

Mary halts in her tracks and rounds on her oldest daughter. Glancing at the garish pink box in her hand. Sam mumbles from her seat in the shopping cart,her chubby hands grabbing for the box in her sisters hands. Deanna looks up at her, eyes as big as saucers as she clutches the pink box to her chest. 

"Sam will be fine without it. We can't afford it Dean." 

Tears are building her her eldest's eyes. But she sniffs back the tears and carefully sets the box on the aisle floor, clenching her hands at her side. 

"Good girl," Mary tells her shortly. 

Samantha makes a noise of protest, but Deanna sets her hand on her leg sticking out of the cart and it seems to calm her. Mary is already half a world away mentally taking stock of how much money all these supplies will cost her. She doesn't have enough for everything. But if she is going to make it to Ohio she is going to need it all. Biting her lips she looks down at her two year old and Deanna. 

Stooping to pick up her eldest daughter. It would have to work. Deanna frowned at the sudden contact, but kept her mouth shut. Already well trained in the art of keeping quiet when her mother had that look on her face. They trudged through the store Deanna on her hip, her other arm pushing the cart before them. Keeping an eye on the security mirrors Mary chose carefully when to slip items under her daughters coat. 

She needed more cash and soon, for now she would just have to steal. It wasn't as if she wasn't good at it. Shoplifting had been the test her father had set her during training. She was deadly with knives and she was stealthy. Her own pockets filled and her daughter loaded she got into the checkout line.

No one questioned her. Deanna was frowning as they walked the groceries across the parking lot.

"Mom-"

"Quiet until we are in the car, Deanna." 

Deanna screwed up her face in determination, her arms wrapped around the bacon under her coat. 

Mary loaded the kids into the car first and then the groceries into the passenger seat. She never opened the trunk in broad daylight. Not since she had converted it into weapon storage. 

Acting normal she pushed the cart into a waiting cart holder and got them out of there as fast as she could. 

"Mom-"

"One more minute, baby."

“Mom?” 

“Dean, Get in the car.” She said, pulling open the farside door and stuffing Sammy into the car seat. Sammy made a face and started to fuss. 

 

#

 

Sometimes it seemed to Mary that the harder she ran from being a hunter the worse the consequences. She wiped her already filthy forehead with the back of her hand and snaked her arm around Samantha's head buried in her belly. 

Sam was crying, but trying not to. 

Mary wanted to cry as well, but she just felt angry as they lifted the stretcher onto the ambulance. "You can come if you get in right now." The EMT yelled at them. Mary licked her lips tasting blood from her split lip and tried to pry her youngest off of her hip. 

"Follow Deana, Sam." She coaxed her. 

Peeling away from her, Sam ran to the ambulance where the man hoisted her inside. Mary followed, finding Deana's hand as she sat herself down on the bench next to the stretcher, squeezing it tight. Deana was still unconcious, an oxygen mask over her face. THe paramedic was trying to rouse her, flashing a light over her left, then her right eye. The back of the ambulence was slammed shut. 

She watched through the tiny window in the back as they pulled away from the scene, fire still glowing against the low clouds as the hotel burned to the ground. 

At least they were alive. Which was more than she could say of the vampires or the three hunters that had been stalking them. Why had they pulled her into this mess? She wasn't doing this anymore. Her girls needed a new life. A good life. They had to stay one step ahead of the yellow eyed demon. She had to keep moving. Why did they always seem to find trouble instead?

Seven hours later sitting in the relative quiet of the hospital room, Mary was still wide awake. Sammy was sprawled out next to her sister on the bed, while the constant steady beep of the heart moniter let her know her eldest daughter was still alive. 

How had she let things get so out of hand? She stood and gave Deana and Sammy both a soft kiss on the forehead. Then she walked down the hall to the empty nurses station and sat down behind the counter and picked up the phone. 

“Bobby?” She paused as a sleepy man answered gruffly on the other end. “It’s Mary…” pause, “Winchester…It’s Deana. She’s been hurt. I was wondering-” She huffed out a breath as tears threatened again. “Could we come stay with you for a bit? We aren’t far…”

#

"Deanna, where did you get this money?" Mary was angry, her face splotchy red, the wad of cash crumpled into her fist. 

Deana stood there, defiant,"What does it matter? We needed it. Sammy was hungry and you didn't leave us enough-"

The sound of flesh hitting flesh filled the motel room like a thunder clap. For a moment after, everything was quiet. Deanna stared down her mother, not moving, the red imprint of her mothers hand plain on her cheek. 

Sammy clutched her text book closer to her chest, feeling like her stomach had just turned to lead. 

"I always provide you us! Always. Do you hear me? Don't you ever-" It was as if she suddenly remembered Samantha was there. Mary lowered her hand. "Samantha.” Her eyes wouldn’t land on her, settling on the wall behind her head “Can you leave us alone for a minute I need to talk to your sister about some grown up matters."

Sam huffed out a thick breath of air, and turned on her heel heading for the hotel door. She didn't want them to see the tears that threatened. Only whiny babies cried when others were hurt after all. It would only hurt Deanna more if she showed pity. 

This much she knew.

Samantha also knew that there was no way she wasn't going to listen in to the rest of this conversation. She had long ago decided that what her mother and sister chose to tell her wasn't enough. 

So she left the motel room, but she simply hunkered down under the large front window and listened to every bitter word they said to each other. 

"...As if you've never done the same thing for us!"

"Deanna, honey," Sam could imagine mother placing her calloused hands on Dean's shoulders as she said this. "You never, NEVER, have to sell yourself for money. Do you hear me?"

"I only did what I had to do!"

"No. Listen to me. I would rather you robbed a liquor store. Please. It's not worth it. I know you can take care of yourself out there, I trust you. But this-"

"It's not like it even matters!"

"No Deanna, it does matter. Of course it matters. We are hunters, not prostitutes."

"Hunting doesn't feed Sammy!"

"No, I do. I am sorry that there wasn't enough. I try, okay! I try and I will make sure that this doesn't happen again, but there are other options. Do you hear me?"

"I don't see how getting money from someone willingly is worse than stealing."

"When it comes to this, it is. Trust me on this Deanna. Please?"

Deanna murmured something incomprehensible, and then it went quiet. Sam hoisted herself up from her crouching position and walked over to the impala, sitting on it's hood and quickly opening her math book to pretend like she had been studying.

When the door opened it was her mom, she gave her a look and Sam slammed the book shut, hoping Mary hadn't noticed that the book was upside down. 

"You aren't to go out for the rest of the night."

Sam nodded, and her mom ran a hand through her hair as she passed by. She pushed herself up off the hood of the car. "I'm going to go get groceries." Samantha noted that her mother was still clutching the wad of cash she had found on Deanna.

When she got back inside Deanna was sitting on the foot of their shared bed, face inches from the television. Sam knew it was her way of not crying, sitting still and staring at the screen, her jaw clenched and her eyes swimming with tears but not quite falling. Sam's stomach clenched tighter, leaning against the door to shut it the rest of the way. Faintly she heard the impala roar to life outside and stood there listening to the sound of her mother running away again. 

"Mom went to get groceries," Samantha explained unnecessarily as she pushed off the door. 

Deanna nodded, looking away from her, her hands coming up to her face to wipe off the escaped tears. "You know I didn't-"

"Did he hurt you?"

Deanna's head snaps up sharply to look at her, then she looks at her hands, clenching them together. "No Sammy, he didn't hurt me."

Sam places her book on the table as she crosses the room, minding the little step down into the bed area. It seems obvious to her that Deanna is lying. So she sat down next to her on the bed and wrapped her arm around her waist and said "Thank you, Dean." It wasn't adequate, but it was all she had. Deanna had done this thing for her. To make sure she was taken care of.

Deanna tenses, then her head was buried in Sam's shoulder, hot tears pouring out of her. Her body convulsing with the force of her sobs. Sam wasn't sure what to do, so she sat still putting an awkward hand on Dean's blond curls. 

She doesn't cry for long, pulling away suddenly to look her in the eye. Her eyes were red, and the imprint of mothers hands was still visible on her cheek. "Sammy, mom is right." Her hands clutched at her collar, her voice rough. "Don't ever do what I did. Not ever. If you need anything, you ask me or mom." She sniffed back more tears and wiped her eye with the back of her hand, "You got it?"

Sam nods uneasily. 

"You need to finish your homework, I'll set the salt lines tonight."

"But Dean-"

"Homework, Sammy."

 

#

"If you leave now, don't you ever come back!" Mary yelled, furious. Her hands clenched at her sides as if he wanted to punch her youngest daughter. 

Sam smirked, it wasn't a pretty smirk. It had too many years of resentment built up behind it. For a second Sam’s eyes met Deanna's, a whirlwind of emotions play across her face, and then she turned and was gone. Door slamming and the sound of her car peeling out of the lot. Deanna felt like she couldn't breathe. Her chest was too tight. Nothing seemed real. 

"She'll be back, Deanna. She always comes back." Mary said gruffly next to her. 

Dean turned to glare at her mother, and was ready to yell at her. Upon seeing the look on Mary's face, however, she stopped. Her mother looked devastated. Her face was pale, her lips a thin white line and her hands gripped at her sides as if she was going to be sick.

"I only want what's best-" she gasped out and Deanna found herself wrapping her arms around her mothers thin frame and holding her close while she cried into her shoulder. "It's not safe out there by herself."

"She'll be alright mom.” This only made Mary cry harder. 

“Mom, please." Deanna begged not wanting to be pulled down into the tears that threatened to drown them both. No she stayed upright while her mom cried, waited until her mom was asleep and cried in the shower until the water ran cold. 

~~

Of course Sam didn't come back. If the Winchester daughters had been taught anything, it was setting a plan into action and following through. Three days later they got wind of a case and had to leave the crappy house they had holed up in. It wasn't as if Sam couldn't find them if she needed. Deana had just wished she hadn't left in the first place. 

Three days turned into three weeks and then months and Deanna and her mother got into a routine. They jumped from case to case and didn't talk about Sam. Sam no longer existed for them. More than once they felt her absence, her quick mind and ability to find out the most obscure piece of lore online or in one of their books. Deanna found herself constantly looking out for a figure that wasn't behind her. Worrying about someone who wasn't even there or calling out Sam for backup when she was in a pinch. 

Deana threw herself into the job, her mother called her determined and even praised her after a particularly hard won case involving a poltergeist.

When the summer comes, Deanna knows that this time Sammy won't be back to join them. This year it really is just her and her mother. It doesn't mean that they didn't swing by Standford one cloudy afternoon, stalking the tall (had she grown another inch over the last year?) brunette as she walked with a group of students across the quad. Or that Dean didn't read on the schools website that Sam had made the Deans List again. She certainly didn't call her. It was enough to know she was safe here. Happy even. 

It is then that she decides that maybe she too should try out being on her own. At first Mary is hesitant to let her take a job on her own, insisting she isn't ready. Her opportunity comes when they are in the middle of a ghost case and they get a call asking for help with a hive of vamps in Chicago.

"Mom, I'm twenty four years old. I can handle myself out here."

Mary frowns at her, hands clenching around her favorite knife as she slid it into it's case. "I know, but it's better to have back up."

"You never seem to need any."

Mary gives her daughter a look that says it all. Deana doesn't back down. "You have that job in Chicago, I can handle one measly little ghost. Your friend needs your help. Go help them, I'll stay here and finish the job. It just makes sense."

Mary still looked hesitant, but she nods. "Okay. Meet back at Bobby's when your done. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Deana nodded, Bobby was always home base it seemed. Sometimes Deana wondered if those two had a thing going on. Her fear of asking her mom kept her from finding out. She had learned a long time ago not to question her mother about certain things.

Mary tossed the keys to her, Deana catching them deftly. “You take her. I’ll find another ride.”

“But Mom-”

“You take care. I’ll see you in a week.”

Deana stood staring down at the keys in her hand for a long time after her mom had walked away. 

 

#

 

Once Deanna had an idea in her mind she went ahead with the plan. It was just how she did things. And yet now that she was here she couldn't make herself get out of the impala. 

Instead she drummed her hands on the steering wheel pursing her lips and staring at the front door of the darkened house. She shouldn't have come here. There was no way that Samantha would want to come with her. It was a stupid idea. 

But what else could she do? Who else could she turn to for this?

Fed up with herself she stopped her drumming and got out of the car. Once she decided to do something...

It was ridiculously easy to break into the house, the window wasn't even locked. She would have words with Sammy about the lack of precautions. Still she landed a little loudly and the floorboards creaked as she walked down the hall. The bedrooms are one way, the kitchen the other. Maybe some liquid courage would help. 

Just as she opens the fridge she feels the presence behind her and ducks out of the way. For a full minute the only sound is of carefully planted steps and arms hitting arms with precision. It doesn't take much for her to suddenly have Samantha pinned beneath her. 

She grins down at her sister, raising her eyebrows.”Whoa, easy, tiger.” 

"Deanna?" 

#

 

Years of training kicked in as she heard the click of the shutting door and the thud of a boot on floorboards. She looked over at the sleeping figure beside her, sound asleep Jesse looked so peaceful she left him there. She was probably better equipped to deal with an intruder than he was anyway. 

Sliding out of bed, she grabbed the baseball bat Jesse had left leaning against the closet door and crept into the hall. A shadowy figure moved across the curtained windows and slunk into the living room. Samantha followed, feet hugging the walls so that the floorboards didn't creak. She could hear whoever, or whatever, it was opening the door to the fridge and come back her way. Tensed against the wall she waited and swung the bat out around the door frame. 

The figure ducked, catching the bat in one hand. It grabbed her, by the wrists and swung her around and to the ground. 

"Whoa easy, tiger." 

It was only from here, on her back, a hand on her throat and another at her wrist that she finally saw who it was. 

"Deanna?" 

Deanna laughed stupidly. "You scared the crap out of me."

"That's cause you're out of practice." Annoyed, Sam hooked her leg around her sisters hip and flipped her unceremoniously onto her back, reversing there positions. "Or not," Deanna conceded. 

"Get off of me," Deana grunts out, rolling her eyes. Sam Thinks about just slamming her sister into the floor again, but concedes, rolling off and lending a hand to help her up. 

"What are you doing here?" Sam demands, looking Deana up and down It had been over two years since they'd seen each other and she had to take her all in. 

"Well I was looking for a beer," she smirks, setting her hands on the taller girls shoulders and shaking her slightly. 

"Dean, what the hell are you doing here?" Sam demands again, ready to kick her ass to the ground again. 

"Okay. All right." Deana adjusted her shirt. "We gotta talk."

Sam spread her hands and raised her eyebrows. "Uh, the phone?"

"If I'd called would you have picked up?" Dean asked. 

Sam relaxed his face realizing she was probably right. The lights flicked on. Jess stood in the doorway in nothing but his smurf boxers. 

"Jess." Sam breathes out, suddenly nervous to have her boyfriend in the same room as her sister. "Hey. Dean, this is my boyfriend, Jess."

"Wait, your sister Deana?" 

Sam nods, "yeah, Deana..."

Dean is already moving towards Jess, a predatory look on her face. Sam couldn't roll her eyes far enough back into her head. 

"Oh, I love the smurfs." Deana ogles his boxers. "You know I've gotta tell you...You are way out of my sisters league."

Jess looks on non plussed and a little confused. 

"I'll uh, put something on." Jess says moving standing straighter and turning to go back to the bedroom. 

"No, no, no. I wouldn't dream of it." Deana protested, "Seriously." She walks back over to Sam, still ogling Jess in the most disgusting way. If she is trying to make her feel jealous it is working. Funny how some things didn't change. She had taken herself out of the life and away from her family. From Dean. And still five minutes in and she was hot under the collar around her sister. And angry. Her blood was positively boiling, rage like a serpent writhing in her throat. How dare she waltz back in here and take such control again. This is exactly what she had been trying to leave behind. 

"Anyway, I need to borrow your girlfriend here, talk about some private family business." Deana glances at Sam, then back to Jess. "But, uh, nice meeting you." She actually winks at him. 

"No." Sam says, causing Dean to look at her. Sam goes and stands next to Jess and puts her arm around his waist. "No, whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of him." 

Deanna's expression changes, and she licks her lips. Eying each of them in turn. "Okay," she draws out the word, giving Sam the are you sure about this look. "Um." She purses her lips before continuing. "Mom hasn't been home in a few days."

As if that was anything new. "So she's with some new guy. I'm sure she'll stumble home sooner or later."

Dean ducks her head, breathing out a heavy sigh and stepping towards them. "Mom's on a hunting trip." She says pointedly, glaring at her. Sam swallows at the words. "And she hasn't been home in a few days."

Jess is frowning at her she can tell, so she keeps her face neutral though her voice comes out a little too high when she speaks. "Jess, excuse us? We have to go outside." Jess looks at her, but then shakes his head at them and heads back to the bedroom. 

 

Sam watches the scenery, though in the dark it is merely the impression of trees whizzing by beyond the headlights. It is unnerving being this close to Dean again, and yet oddly comforting as well. Familiar. Nostalgic. And fucking tense. 

She couldn't figure out what her sister was thinking. She had been sure that Dean was too furious to ever want to talk to her again, and yet here she was, acting like nothing was different. Like they could just get back on the road and it would all be like it was. Did that mean she wanted everything like it was before? Sam shook her head to dispel the thought. That was a mistake. It was stupid that they had ever let it get that far out of hand and it wasn't going to happen again. She had Jesse now, and Dean was obviously into guys again. Whatever stupid shit had happened between them, it was over now. Sam herself had made sure of it. After all it had just been a response to their fucked up childhood. They didn't need to revisit those ugly truths.

So she watched the road, trying not to be lulled to sleep by endless sameness and the hum of wheels on asphalt, but also trying not think. 

"Dude are you going to brood the whole damned drive?" Dean asked, absently tapping her fingers on the steering wheel in time with the music. 

"Still listening to Dad's tapes?" Sam asked, shaking her head. 

"Shut your cake hole." Dean barked at her. Sam just rolled her eyes. So things really didn't change. Except Mom wasn't there."

"Mom let you take the car?"

"This is my car now. Mom got some big ass truck. Thought since we were doing more jobs separately I could use my own vehicle."

Sam just nodded, even though she doubted Dean could see her in the dimness of the cabin. It was odd not knowing what Dean's life had been like for the last few years. They used to know everything about each other. Had been the only ones in the world who knew everything about each other. Now Dean sat next to her as a familiar stranger. Sam examined her hands in her lap as the silence stretched between them.

"So Jess is a smokin' hot piece of ass. How'd you score him?"

Sam flushed red to her hairline, her skin prickling at the comment. "Can you not-"

"What?" 

Sam breathed out through her nose letting it go. A mutual friend introduced us. He's a nursing student."

Dean stuck out her chin, nodding appreciatively. "Hot male nurse. I like it."

"You don't have to qualify him as a 'male' nurse, Deana. He's just a nurse."

Dean let go the steering wheel to put up her hands defensively. "What? What'd I say?"

Sam huffed out another exasperated breath. "When you qualify the title nurse with male, you are saying the woman are always nurses. That that is there place. It's sexist, Deana."

"Alright, sorry, I didn't know." Deana actually sounded a little sorry and a lot pissed off. 

"Well, now you do."

"Just cause I didn't want to go to freaking college-"

"Dean. It's alright. I'm sorry I snapped at you. Can we talk about something else?"

The truth was she didn't want to talk about Jess with her sister. She didn't want to talk about Jess at all. Not after the nightmares had been plaguing her. She knew now that it had to have been her gut telling her that her past was about to catch up to her. As soon as she'd seen Deana in her living room it had all clicked into place. Her instincts were just trying to tell her that her sister was coming for her. That the hunter life was following her. Just as it had followed their mother. 

But that was bullshit. She wanted out of the life. Help Deana as quickly as possible and get back home before it swallowed her up and left nothing but a shell behind.

Not wanting Deana to dictate anything else that night, she started asking more details about their mother's disappearance and the time passed as awkwardly as their conversation.

**Author's Note:**

> There is a bit more, will put that into a second chapter with more graphic warnings.


End file.
